The Guarded Woman

In my recent days passed, God has truly been revealing himself to me and through me. My prayers have dwindled, but when I say He’s here with me more now than ever; I literally feel Him peeling and pulling away at me and my heart (circumcising my heart)...and to be honest it’s beautiful. He’s shown me the woman who I am, beneath the guard. You see, I had (sometimes have) a guard that screams stay away from me; you cannot go any further, if you do, you may not like what you find. I made myself unapproachable on purpose!

In all honesty, I had been scared to let the guard down, even with Jesus! Why? Because I didn’t know who was underneath there. I hadn’t met this woman. She’s a stranger to me; fun, bubbly, loving (wants to be loved), gentle, kind, funny, cries through good and bad times and longs for all that God has for her life. Now, if I didn’t know who this woman was and what she’s capable of...how could I let anyone else in and expect them to understand? That would mean new territory, vulnerability, openness; being stretched out of my comfort zone...the list could go on. But one thing I can tell you is that it put the fear of God in to me to open up again. To put myself out there...but I so badly wanted to be free to love! Be free to love and be loved; for & through every mistake, every bad mood, every bad day, whether up or down. That to me means so much; more beyond any of the material things in this world. But God showed me that in order to do this, I had to become honest with myself and with Him.

You see in God’s word (1 John 4:18) it says ‘...perfect love casts out fear’. It’s important to remember that we cannot know love until we know the author & creator of Love. We cannot know that Love casts out fear until we are able to let God love us beyond our fears. When created, God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of peace, love & a sound mind.

Now the process that followed was definitely unique! I was sat sharing my testimony with a colleague; I mean completely and honestly sharing my testimony! Not holding anything back. And I literally felt the last layer of hurt from my past remove itself from my heart...I felt the Holy Spirit move in my heart and with that I said goodbye to that emotional turmoil. I said goodbye to the woman that was... I finally said Hello to ‘Me’.

I’ve begun to understand the sort of woman that I am beyond the guard; the woman that I was originally created to be (before this world got a hold of me). When I love, I love hard! I mean deep...once I’m in something I’m in it for the long run, long term...heyyy...I’m in it for eternity. I’m either all in or not in at all; and that scares me again too. It requires to love without abandon; to love like I’ve never been hurt...and I have been which makes it even harder to comprehend.

The guard goes up so that soul hurt, the pain that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy, never has to return. But I think we forget sometimes; that with God life happens; he doesn’t stop life happening to us but He IS faithful to help us through life, after all ‘He is close to the broken-hearted’.

Don't be afraid of who you are under that guard! In fact, ask The Lord to take the guard off...He longs for you to see the woman who He created...I promise you you won't regret it <3


Love EML xx

C.E.O

Imagine this, you became a C.E.O overnight? I mean, no hard work, no degree needed, no prior experience and certainly without having to climb the corporate ladder. No application process, no interview, no waiting in anxiousness until you find out the outcome; the position literally just fell in your lap. Even more excitingly, what if I told you, you can create a brand without having to raise capital, no business plan needed, and it only depended on your internal analysis.

Ladies, YOU ARE THE BRAND and you ARE the C.E.O of your own life.

[1]A chief executive officer (CEO) is the highest-ranking corporate officer (executive) or administrator in charge of total management of an organization. An individual appointed as a CEO of a corporation, company, organization, or agency typically reports to the board of directors.

Okay, so let’s break down the definition above!

Highest Ranking – it means you are the top in your life, an elevated level to which people must step-up to. Tell the grown boy to step up or step out!

In charge of total management - You have the power to determine what comes in and what comes out. You have total management of your being; spiritually, physically, mentally & emotionally.

Report to the board of directors – Your board/director is GOD! No more and no less. He is the One of whom you live your life through & for, give your life to, reverently & fearfully obey. He is the one who will determine your footsteps; He knows your every thought, He knows your end before your beginning & just like a Board of Directors, He has a lot of experience in this thing called ‘life’ and won’t let you invest yourself or time in something or someone who He knows won’t reap the correct dividends. He’s a purposeful living God and understands that life is ‘but a vapour’, so why let us waste time not pursuing our purpose or having those people in our lives that are more a liability than an asset.

Now with that broken down, let’s get into the realness of this revelation. As a young 24 year old woman, I have been through the mill & back and I genuinely prayed that someone had told me the information above before I went out into this world & tried to make things work my way, but I also thank God for the opportunity for being able to come to this realisation; better late than never right?! Through my life experience, or test should I say, God was faithful to turn it into my testimony &then transform it into ministry. It is now a passion of mine that every woman I come into contact with understands her purpose, why she was created and how precious she is in the sight of God. I know it may not feel like it sometimes, but in His word it says:

Genesis 2:18 ‘Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.’ (AMP)

According the www.thefreedictionary.com the definition is as follows:

Adj.	1.	adapted - changed in order to improve or made more fit for a particular purpose;

adaptable

adjective

1. flexible, variable, versatile, resilient, easy-going, changeable, modifiable, conformable They are adaptable foragers that can survive on a wide range of foods.

com·ple·men·ta·ry adj.

1. Forming or serving as a complement; completing.

2. Supplying mutual needs or offsetting mutual lacks.

NOTE: the word adapted – not adaptable! To be ‘adapted’ means you are already suited to the environment; already made perfect to fit perfectly to your purpose! That’s the point of your process!

‘Adaptable’ means you are agile, able to be flexible to any ‘Adam’! NO – you are created ‘adapted’ perfectly to your Adam! So you don’t have to wake him up! Hallelujah! Pressure off; you can go about this life, active in your wait upon your Adam! Isn’t that so cool?

Once Adam had given names to all the livestock, it is written in Genesis 19-20 that there was STILL not found a suitable & adaptable help meet for him. So the other revelation I catch from this that your Adam, at this very moment in time may be in a relationship, even unsaved, out in the world sowing his wild oats! But believe me when I tell you, at the right time, God will bring him across your path and who knows sis? You may even end up being a catalyst for change! PRAISE GOD RIGHT NOW!

Genesis 2:21 -23 ‘And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and WHILE he slept, He took one of his ribs or part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh. And the rib or part of the side which the Lord God had taken from man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. Then Adam said ‘this [creature] is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken OUT of a man.’  

The scripture above explains the process to how Adam met Eve. There was NO her asking him, or anything! Literally, she was going about her business with the big boss man (God) and along her way she was introduced (at the right time) to Her ADAM! Basically, you WILL meet him at the right time.

Be patient sis...keep fighting this daily battle knowing that each day brings you closer to the one! Each day brings you closer to God and each day you are fulfilling your God given destiny...

---

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chief_executive_officer

Do not despise...

Have you ever wondered why your life or steps have been ordered in such a way? Ever wondered why you feel you are in constant service to others, your life is under pressure and feel your life lacks substance? Every prayer you pray you believe isn't being answered, because if it were, why haven't your cirucmstances changed?

I battle with this too...I sometimes question why the Lord has me in this state currently. As I sat down to speak with Him this morning I realised that his promised 'peace that surpasses all understanding' is currently with me. If you knew the trials, tribulations, pressures and issues in my life...you like I, would be wondering, how am I still standing? And all I can say it is by His Grace and Mercy.

In the natural, without our Daddy to lean on, I believe life would come along and beat us left, right and centre! But in these seasons we must stand on his word! Truly, unbelivably press into Him through the storms of life; these are designed to bring us closer to Him not to push us away. You have to remember that if He's brought you to it, he will also bring you through it.

On entering His word this morning my Bible opened up to preparatrion scriptures! We are told not to despise small beginnings; in the wanting to pass through all these tests and dry seasons, we could miss out on the lessons intended for us to learn!

Exodus 3:1

'One day Moses was tending the flock of his Father-in-Law, Jethro, the priest of Midian. He led the flock into the wilderness and came to Sinai, the mountain of God'

The revelation I caught from this was so timely that I just had to share. As we go about life and question God why am I in this season, I am more than this and all I do is serve others, why do you have me doing this? We forget that menial preparation will always lead you back to God - meaning it will always keep you humble! Before Moses became Leader of the Israelites I can imagine it was a raher lonely season for Moses, tending to the flock day in, day out, without a Word from God. But in this season of 'dryness' the Lord was teaching Moses lessons of faithfulness and general lessons that he had to learn first, before becoming a leader.

He had to learn about the ways of people he would be leading and also about life in the wilderness, for this is where he would spend 40years of his life! God was preparing him in this small things, making him ready for the Big things! I can assume in this season however, that there were many things God had to wean from Moses before he moved him to this next level and he certainly had to keep Him Humble.

Moses is a fine example of being faithful and humble in the things of God, for in 1 Corinthians 10:31 we are told that 'In everything we do, do it to God'. So it doesn't matter what people say, as long as you know why you are doing what you are doing, do it with a smile, knowing that there are things God must teach you in your humble beginnings, for your next level is so big, He loves you enough to prepare you for it! Just like us though, Moses was unable to appreciate this lesson, but God was getting him ready for the biggest assignment of his life!

Notice anything here, did God not do the SAME thing with David - soon to be King David? David was told he would become King, on recieving this Word he was then told to return to tending the sheep UNTIL the Lord was ready to send him to his next level.

Do not despise the small beginnings! Be faithful in the small things, so you will be faithful in the big! Remember He is not a Man that he should lie and every promise that sits in the bible, is for us to reach out and grab!

Obedience is better than sacrifice, stay in your lane!

God loves you!

EML xx

When...why...WHEN (again)...and how?

If your anything like me and are currently going through a dry season, you'll find that your asking God a lot of questions lately! Remembering all the promises that have been revealed publicly via prophecy or silently in your own personal devotional time that you share with Him!

It's even harder when you begin to realise that God is an eternal God and has no time limits as it says in the Marvin Sapp song You Are God Alone 'To you 40 years is but one hour...' Before I entered into this dry season I can honestly say I would sing that song with all the 'gumpshon' in me, however as I'm in this process of going through it sends my flesh into a FIT as I realise that it could take 40+ years for my promises to come to pass...

Whilst focusing on these promises and God's timing (without intentionally) rushing God and asking him to speed up the process, it's here where we miss not only the blessings in the current seasons of our lives whilst we wait for the next, but we also miss the lessons to be learned!

Through each season of life there are lessons...YES, whether we like it or not we always have to WAIT until the next season comes...in some seasons it will be dry-wet season, a rainy season or EVEN WORSE a desert dry season where there's no change and you see no manifestation of any promises! Sometimes, the test isn't always about the waiting but it's about HOW you wait that moves you to your next level!

Well, all I can is 'fear not'. Do you know that in the bible we are told over 35 times to fear not! Why, because:

1) God did not give us a spirit of fear but of peace, love and a sound mind!
2) Everything has been made beautiful for its time
3) Fear will make you run, give up, feelings of frustration arise and along comes its little friends depression, despondency, anger oh yes and emotional turmoil!

These are NOT from God...I repeat these are NOT from God, but literally lies from the PIT of HELL! In His Word, the Lord promises that He will NEVER leave us NOR forsake us! You know what that means...if you TRUST Him to be the provider of all your needs....GUESS WHAT...He will provide all your needs according to HIS riches and GLORY!

As I write this, I'm going through things that once the process is over, I will endeavour to share with you!

All I want to say is, pour out to God your heart, with all your questions, but instead of rushing to find the answers...Be still (for long enough to hear from Him) and know that He is God!

He's got your back,

Love EML xx

This Morning...John 15:1-8

This morning, as I instantly opened my eyes I knew my heart was hardened! I now understand when Joyce Meyer says that the thoughts you think in those first 5minutes of the day have the POWER to shape your day...

As I woke up, I knew immediately there was something on my heart...something that I had to take before the Lord, but also something that I felt he already knew about so why take it to him again? I began my time with him by reading 'Starting Your Day Right by Joyce Meyer' and as he always does, smack bang on the page was a word in season about Follwing God's Lead' and trusting him in times of uncertaintity.

Before I woke, I understood that my flesh had begun to look at the circumstances in my life and how I began to feel as if I've nothing to show for my age. 24, working in Sainsbury's as an online shopper, just finished uni, applying for new jobs, hearing nothing back and looking at the direction of my life (which in the natural looks rather bleak) #fail

As I meditated on another of Joyce Meyer's daily devotionals, I was led again to 'cast my care onto the Lord' and follow my heart. I know right now that I am unable to follow my heart, because I'm sure it's full of emotion and if I followed my heart in its current state of affairs...well let's just say I would be making some very emotionally led decisions now to please my flesh which I may regret later on.

In my time with Him this morning, I poured out the heaviness of my heart meditated on scriptures and wrote in my journal. As always, writing in my journal the Lord always speaks back to me and this morning he explained the reason for this season in my life! He's maturing and making me grow as  John 15-2 states 'He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful' . In this season in my life he's pruning away, and I began to think of the analogy when I see my mother pruning roses, she removes all the dead leaves and once this is done, the rose, once again, looks brand new! The removing of leaves from such a plant doesn't look nice, and some have to be tugged.

Like a rose, I have some thorns, which prick myself and others sometimes, and the Lord also appears to be removing these from me also! And I can promise you its tugging away at my flesh!

If you find yourself going through the same thing, I encourage you to sit at his feet on a daily basis! Do not let your emotions begin to dictate how your day will go...my flesh this morning looked at my life and began to have a hissy fit! It tried to make me feel sorry for myself and in all honesty, I had to remember that the Lord guides my steps and I am currently where I am now, as he has led me here and wants me here. In this season I am required to trust and understand that when I look back, it'll all make sense to me in the end.

If your like me and are in a season of uncertaintity, PUSH through it! Push through like you have never done before, sit at his feet, read his word, be obedient and DO the things He is guiding you to do and most of all ENJOY this SEASON, because just like the weather outside, seasons change. This too shall pass...don't be in a hurry and run ahead of the Lord, because 'apart from him we are nothing'. Be obedient, seek his face, seek his will and purpose for your life; trust that like a cookie shaper, He is tearing away all of those things which do not look like him, and after the fire, you will come out not only pure, but with no scratch nor burn!

Remember, He is your Daddy, he craves you, your heart and all that you are...be about his business and he will be about yours!

God bless you xx

New chapter...new life (that's what they all say! lool)

Uni is over. Finished, completed, never to return again! PRAISE. GOD!

I have to say it was one of the most testing times of my life - however in reality I thank the Lord for the lessons along the way!

Uni finished last week and in all honesty, I've seemed to have struggles to remove myself from the uni mindset...as I go about my day I'm asking myself 'Elisha, do you have coursework?' 'Any outstanding work left?' Jheeze, I need to give myself a break but when something has been your life for so long sometimes its hard to break away from it!

Through uni I was pushed to emotional and mental limits that I can say I had not faced before; let's just say University was my Golaith! It was a giant that without being able to pull out energy and strength from within, it would have defeated me! I cried, I shouted, I whaled, I wanted to give up...IN FACT at some points I even GAVE UP! Threw in the towel, threw my toys out the pram...why because it hurt so bad and I COULDN'T TAKE THE PAIN OF THE GOING THROUGH! However, now it is over I can honestly say it is well worth every single emotion...every tear and every frustration! If only I'd remembered that I already have the VICTORY through the blood of JESUS! That he never goes to battle and returns defeated! Emotions hey...those things...and this leads onto my next topic quite nicely!

SELF-PITY!

I can honestly say that because it has been a part of my life for so long (and by the way it's idolatory and a sin towards God) its become a habit!

When I first became single after being in a relationship for 6 years - the immediate emotion of fear hit me! 'What am I going to do now?' And like a baby, the Lord had to wean me away from the bossom to the bottle - from dependency to independence, and to dependence on Him! He weaned me away from self-pity, made me take responsibility for any actions that I had acted out before, any wrong ways of thinking as we are reminded that we must 'Be constantly renewed in the renewing of our minds...'

Where am I going with this...that self-pity takes a choice to move away from and pain to go through but after the process of weaning, wining and crying we come out an adult! I'm currently in the process of making a daily choice and reminding myself of Joyce Meyre's quote -

'You can be pitiful or powerful, but you cannot be both'.

I refuse to cry 'what about me anymore'...I refuse to be looked upon as that woman who is never content - I choose to be content in my season of life...as in all honesty its our flesh which we fight against daily...my flesh may want to have a pity party but as a Woman created in the image of the Most High I've no time for self-pity in my life; time is precious and it cannot be wasted! I was created as a help-meet; created for a purpose!

If only we could divide the truth from the fact -

FACT: I'm struggling right now and I FEEL like giving up!'

TRUTH: Phillipians 4:13 - I can do ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGHTENS ME'.

FACT: 'All my friends are getting married, having babies, seem to have their careers...blah, blah, blah...

TRUTH: Ecclesiates 3:1 'For EVERYTHING there is a SEASON, a time for EVERY activity under heaven!

 Ecclesiates 3:2 - ' A time to PLANT and a TIME TO HARVEST'.

I guess what I'm trying to say is be content...let the Lord do his perfect work and in your season you shall reap a harvest! Beyond your imagination...live in hope, not in self pity.

EML xx